Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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