we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
