Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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