I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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