I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
