What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
