Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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