any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
