Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
