girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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