Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
