i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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