This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
