ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
