So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
