using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
