I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize