bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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