And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
