Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
