seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
