Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
