I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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