I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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