after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
