i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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