I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
