Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
