he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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