): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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