Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
