Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize