i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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