Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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