$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
