New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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