I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
