If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
