I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I supernannyed him into submission
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
