i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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