yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
