I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
