i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
