I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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