I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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