Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize