Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
