just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
