You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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