He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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