mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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