how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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