fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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