Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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