During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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