then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
