it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize