I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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