The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
