Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
