feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
